Long One
Mood:  hug me
Today was a long day.
Felt like I didn't need a tonne of junk food like I have in the past few days. It's weird; I go through weeks at a time during which I'm focused, going to the gym a lot, eating great. And then there are weeks at a time that are equally as bad when it comes to eating and the gym. The bad weeks are also accompanied by a bad mood. Not bad as in mad, but bad as in sad or just slightly depressed.

I think to myself: What could I do to make the bad weeks better? What could I do to make them shorter? I think the answer to both those questions are to be much less hard on myself during those times. As soon as I start getting "off track," I start talking to myself negatively without even knowing it. I chastise myself for not having the energy to work out the way I was the week before and I think it pushes me deeper into the rut. But self-acceptance of "laziness" is hard for an energetic, control and fitness freak!!!

Sometimes I think to myself: Maybe I work myself *too* hard during the good weeks and then bad weeks follow because I have tired myself out. I don't think this IS necessarily the case though because during the good weeks I don't feel over-tired, I feel GREAT!

The trigger is usually the gym factor. As soon as I can't get to the gym for 2 or 3 days in a row, I feel like I've been bumped out of my routine and, then I chastise myself and then the eating starts sliding, and then I chastise further and....

You see where that leads.

Now, three weeks into "bad week mode," I feel so far outta the routine that I'm just stuck. But I'm not, am I? I've worked hard to lose 20 pounds of unnatural excess weight my body was holding and it doesn't dissappear in three weeks. I'll be okay.

I am beautiful.

What the heck is a BLOG?!
Mood:  quizzical
Always wondered, never really knew!
Thanks to some research for the internet-illiterate, I found out that Blog actually stands for "Weblog" and is like a virtual journal. BINGO! Just what I'm looking for! :)

I'm a blog-virgin, about to pop my virtual cherry!

I have "real" journals but for some reason, journals I keep on the computer seem to get written in much more often for me.

So I think I've found a nice little spot to place my daily musings/rants/whou woulda thought?! moments!

I'll start by saying that I'm having an uncharacteristically bad week. Usually, I'm pretty positive about things. A glass-is-half-full kinda gal. But this week has been a doozy. My car wouldn't start yesterday because it's so darn cold out, I have a sore throat which I'm suspecting is turning into a nasty bout of strep throat , my boyfriend and I of four months are on the outs, and I can't seem to shake this lack of energy I've had for the past three weeks! You must think I'm lying about that glass-is-half-full kinda gal thing.

But for every crappy day there's a good one, and for every off week, there's one that's on. I AM excited to get in the gym hardcore again after three weeks of travelling home to see family (4 hours away), being sick twice in that time, and letting loose of this relationship that just isn't working. The gym is my playground. I always come away from it feeling awesome. Except of course for the time I tried a step class and was rudely awakened to the fact that I just don't have that kind of co-ordination!